Study Edition · Essay 23
Sir Roger at Vauxhall
Source: The Spectator, No. 383, Tuesday 20 May 1712. Text from The Spectator, ed. Henry Morley, Project Gutenberg #12030. Spelling and capitals modernized. Archaic verb forms modernized; vocabulary kept and glossed.
Sir Roger takes Mr. Spectator by boat up the Thames to Spring Garden at Vauxhall, a pleasure garden of shady walks, nightingales and less respectable night life. Along the way the old knight hires a one-legged war veteran to row, airs his patriotic prejudices, greets everybody he passes, and is shocked by the cheek of London. He ends with a line that is both naive and wise.
32 sentences: 5 simple, 14 moderate, 13 complex. Hover a number for its paraphrase; click it for the full note.
Key Vocabulary
- bouncea loud knock or thump (old sense)
- lodgeto live in rented rooms
- speculateto think deeply; to meditate (old sense)
- pratingchattering; talking too much
- watermana boatman who rowed passengers on the Thames, like a water taxi
- bateto reduce; to put up with less of
- liverythe uniform of a nobleman's servants
- trim (a boat)to balance a boat by placing the weight evenly
- ballastheavy weight that keeps a boat steady
- poperyan insulting word for Roman Catholicism
- cleave (to)to stick fast to
- heathenishun-Christian; godless
- knight of the shirea member of Parliament for a county
- puta country bumpkin; a fool (old slang)
- wenchingchasing women
- ribaldryrude, coarse joking
- coppicea small wood of young trees
- masque / maska person in a mask; here a woman of doubtful reputation
- baggagea cheeky or immoral woman (old, insulting)
- animadvertto criticize; to comment with disapproval
- strumpeta prostitute (old)
The Essay
Criminibus debent hortos … (Juvenal)1
As I was sitting in my chamber, and thinking on a subject for my next Spectator, I heard two or three irregular bounces at my landlady's door, and upon the opening of it, a loud cheerful voice enquiring whether the philosopher was at home.2 The child who went to the door answered very innocently, that he did not lodge there.3 I immediately recollected that it was my good friend Sir Roger's voice; and that I had promised to go with him on the water to Spring Garden, in case it proved a good evening.4 The knight put me in mind of my promise from the bottom of the staircase, but told me that if I was speculating he would stay below till I had done.5 Upon my coming down, I found all the children of the family got about my old friend, and my landlady herself, who is a notable prating gossip, engaged in a conference with him; being mightily pleased with his stroking her little boy upon the head, and bidding him be a good child and mind his book.6
We were no sooner come to the Temple Stairs, but we were surrounded with a crowd of watermen, offering us their respective services.7 Sir Roger, after having looked about him very attentively, spied one with a wooden leg, and immediately gave him orders to get his boat ready.8 As we were walking towards it, You must know, says Sir Roger, I never make use of anybody to row me, that has not either lost a leg or an arm.9 I would rather bate him a few strokes of his oar, than not employ an honest man that has been wounded in the Queen's service.10 If I was a lord or a bishop, and kept a barge, I would not put a fellow in my livery that had not a wooden leg.11
My old friend, after having seated himself, and trimmed the boat with his coachman, who, being a very sober man, always serves for ballast on these occasions, we made the best of our way for Fox-Hall.12 Sir Roger obliged the waterman to give us the history of his right leg, and hearing that he had left it at La Hogue, with many particulars which passed in that glorious action, the knight in the triumph of his heart made several reflections on the greatness of the British nation; as, that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we could never be in danger of popery so long as we took care of our fleet; that the Thames was the noblest river in Europe; that London Bridge was a greater piece of work, than any of the seven wonders of the world; with many other honest prejudices which naturally cleave to the heart of a true Englishman.13
After some short pause, the old knight turning about his head twice or thrice, to take a survey of this great metropolis, bid me observe how thick the City was set with churches, and that there was scarce a single steeple on this side Temple Bar.14 A most heathenish sight! says Sir Roger: there is no religion at this end of the town.15 The fifty new churches will very much mend the prospect; but church-work is slow, church-work is slow!16
I do not remember I have anywhere mentioned, in Sir Roger's character, his custom of saluting everybody that passes by him with a good-morrow or a good-night.17 This the old man does out of the overflowings of his humanity, though at the same time it renders him so popular among all his country neighbours, that it is thought to have gone a good way in making him once or twice Knight of the Shire.18 He cannot forbear this exercise of benevolence even in town, when he meets with any one in his morning or evening walk.19 It broke from him to several boats that passed by us upon the water; but to the knight's great surprise, as he gave the good-night to two or three young fellows a little before our landing, one of them, instead of returning the civility, asked us what queer old put we had in the boat, and whether he was not ashamed to go a-wenching at his years? with a great deal of the like Thames-ribaldry.20 Sir Roger seemed a little shocked at first, but at length assuming a face of magistracy, told us, That if he were a Middlesex justice, he would make such vagrants know that Her Majesty's subjects were no more to be abused by water than by land.21
We were now arrived at Spring Garden, which is exquisitely pleasant at this time of year.22 When I considered the fragrancy of the walks and bowers, with the choirs of birds that sung upon the trees, and the loose tribe of people that walked under their shades, I could not but look upon the place as a kind of Mahometan paradise.23 Sir Roger told me it put him in mind of a little coppice by his house in the country, which his chaplain used to call an aviary of nightingales.24 You must understand, says the knight, there is nothing in the world that pleases a man in love so much as your nightingale.25 Ah, Mr. Spectator! the many moonlight nights that I have walked by myself, and thought on the widow by the music of the nightingales!26 He here fetched a deep sigh, and was falling into a fit of musing, when a mask, who came behind him, gave him a gentle tap upon the shoulder, and asked him if he would drink a bottle of mead with her?27 But the knight, being startled at so unexpected a familiarity, and displeased to be interrupted in his thoughts of the widow, told her, She was a wanton baggage, and bid her go about her business.28
We concluded our walk with a glass of Burton ale, and a slice of hung beef.29 When we had done eating ourselves, the knight called a waiter to him, and bid him carry the remainder to the waterman that had but one leg.30 I perceived the fellow stared upon him at the oddness of the message, and was going to be saucy; upon which I ratified the knight's commands with a peremptory look.31
As we were going out of the garden, my old friend, thinking himself obliged, as a member of the quorum, to animadvert upon the morals of the place, told the mistress of the house, who sat at the bar, that he should be a better customer to her garden, if there were more nightingales, and fewer strumpets.32
Sentence Notes
In plain English: “They owe their gardens to their crimes …”
Reference & context: Juvenal, Satires I.75 (the Spectator credits it to Horace by mistake). Juvenal's point is that the rich own fine gardens thanks to their wrongdoing. Here it hints at the immorality to be found in London's pleasure gardens.
In plain English: As I sat in my room thinking about a topic for my next paper, I heard two or three uneven bangs on my landlady's door. When it was opened, a loud, cheerful voice asked whether the philosopher was in.
In plain English: The child who answered the door innocently replied that no philosopher lived there.
Why this phrase is worth keeping: A sly joke at Mr. Spectator's expense: to his landlady's child, he is just the quiet lodger, not a philosopher.
In plain English: I at once recognised Sir Roger's voice, and remembered I had promised to go with him by boat to Spring Garden if the evening was fine.
Reference & context: New Spring Garden at Vauxhall, on the south bank of the Thames, opened around 1661 and became London's most famous pleasure garden, later known as Vauxhall Gardens. Visitors usually arrived by boat.
In plain English: From the bottom of the stairs Sir Roger reminded me of my promise, but said that if I was busy thinking he would wait downstairs until I'd finished.
In plain English: When I came down, all the family's children were crowded round my old friend, and my landlady, a famous chatterbox, was deep in conversation with him, delighted that he had patted her little boy on the head and told him to be good and study hard.
In plain English: As soon as we reached the Temple Stairs, a crowd of boatmen surrounded us, each offering his boat.
Reference & context: The Temple Stairs were a landing place on the Thames near the Inns of Court. With only one bridge over the river in London, watermen were the city's taxis.
In plain English: Sir Roger looked around carefully, spotted one with a wooden leg, and at once told him to get his boat ready.
In plain English: As we walked to it, Sir Roger said: “You should know that I never hire anyone to row me unless he has lost a leg or an arm.”
In plain English: “I'd rather put up with a slower row than fail to give work to an honest man wounded serving the Queen.”
Why this phrase is worth keeping: Sir Roger's charity is practical and kind, and this line shows the warm heart under his eccentricity.
Reference & context: Queen Anne reigned 1702–1714. Many disabled veterans of the wars against France made a living as watermen.
In plain English: “If I were a lord or a bishop with my own barge, I wouldn't put anyone in my uniform who didn't have a wooden leg.”
In plain English: Once my old friend had sat down and balanced the boat with his coachman, a very steady man who always serves as ballast on these trips, we headed as fast as we could for Vauxhall.
Reference & context: “Fox-Hall” is an old spelling of Vauxhall. “Sober” is a pun: the coachman is both serious and not drunk, so he sits still and keeps the boat steady.
In plain English: Sir Roger made the boatman tell us how he lost his right leg. Hearing that he had lost it at the Battle of La Hogue, along with many details of that famous fight, the delighted knight came out with several thoughts on Britain's greatness: that one Englishman could beat three Frenchmen; that we'd never be in danger of Catholicism as long as we looked after our navy; that the Thames was Europe's finest river; that London Bridge was a greater achievement than any of the Seven Wonders of the World; and many other well-meant prejudices that naturally stick to the heart of a true Englishman.
Why this phrase is worth keeping: Addison's affectionate irony: he lists Sir Roger's patriotic boasts with a straight face, then calls them “honest prejudices.” A perfect phrase for well-meaning bias.
Reference & context: At the Battle of La Hogue (1692) the English and Dutch fleets destroyed a French fleet that was preparing to invade England and restore the Catholic James II. In the first printing the waterman lost his leg at Bantry Bay (1689), an English defeat, which Addison changed to a more flattering battle. Old London Bridge, covered with houses, was a famous sight.
In plain English: After a short pause, the old knight turned his head two or three times to look over the great city, and pointed out how full of churches the City of London was, while there was hardly a single steeple on the Westminster side of Temple Bar.
Reference & context: Temple Bar was the gateway marking the boundary between the City of London and Westminster. The City was crowded with churches, many rebuilt by Sir Christopher Wren after the Great Fire; the newer, fashionable West End had few.
In plain English: “A most un-Christian sight!” said Sir Roger. “There's no religion at this end of town.”
Why this phrase is worth keeping: A comic judgement on the fashionable West End that is also half true.
In plain English: “The fifty new churches will greatly improve the view; but church-building is slow, very slow!”
Reference & context: The Fifty New Churches Act of 1711 planned fifty new churches for London's growing suburbs. Only about twelve were ever built, which proved Sir Roger right.
In plain English: I don't think I've ever mentioned, when describing Sir Roger, his habit of greeting everyone he passes with a “good morning” or a “good night.”
In plain English: He does this out of pure kindness, though it also makes him so popular with his country neighbours that it's thought to have helped get him elected to Parliament for his county once or twice.
In plain English: He can't help doing it even in London, whenever he meets someone on his morning or evening walk.
In plain English: He called out greetings to several boats that passed us. But to his great surprise, when he wished good night to two or three young men just before we landed, one of them, instead of greeting him back, asked what strange old yokel we had in the boat, and whether he wasn't ashamed to be going after women at his age, with plenty more of the same rude river banter.
Reference & context: Thames watermen and their passengers were famous for “water-language,” the custom of shouting insults at passing boats. Pleasure gardens were known as places to pick up women, hence the jibe.
In plain English: Sir Roger seemed a bit shocked at first, but finally put on a stern magistrate's face and said that if he were a justice of the peace in Middlesex, he'd teach such layabouts that the Queen's subjects were no more to be insulted on the water than on land.
Reference & context: Sir Roger is a justice of the peace in his own county, but has no authority in Middlesex, the county around London.
In plain English: We had now reached Spring Garden, which is wonderfully pleasant at this time of year.
In plain English: When I thought about the sweet-smelling paths and arbours, the birds singing in the trees, and the not-very-respectable crowds strolling in the shade, I couldn't help thinking of the place as a kind of Muslim paradise.
Why this phrase is worth keeping: A sly double meaning: “paradise” for the beauty, “loose” for the behaviour.
Reference & context: Europeans of the time had a crude picture of the Islamic paradise as a garden of sensual pleasures. “Loose tribe” is a hint about the gardens' morals.
In plain English: Sir Roger said it reminded him of a small wood near his country house, which his chaplain called a nightingale aviary.
In plain English: “You must understand,” said Sir Roger, “nothing in the world pleases a man in love as much as a nightingale does.”
Reference & context: The nightingale, which sings at night, has been the bird of lovers in poetry since the Middle Ages.
In plain English: “Ah, Mr. Spectator! How many moonlit nights I've walked alone, thinking about the widow, while the nightingales sang!”
Reference & context: The widow is the “perverse widow” who rejected Sir Roger's courtship long ago (Spectator No. 113). He has loved her hopelessly ever since.
In plain English: He gave a deep sigh and was drifting into a daydream when a masked woman came up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked if he'd share a bottle of mead with her.
Reference & context: Women of easy virtue at public gardens and masquerades often wore masks. Mead is a sweet drink made from fermented honey.
In plain English: But the knight, startled by such unexpected forwardness and annoyed at being disturbed in his thoughts of the widow, told her she was a shameless hussy and sent her away.
In plain English: We ended our walk with a glass of Burton ale and a slice of dried beef.
Reference & context: Burton-on-Trent was already famous for its strong ale. Hung beef was beef cured by hanging and drying.
In plain English: When we'd finished eating, Sir Roger called a waiter and told him to take what was left to the one-legged boatman.
In plain English: I saw the waiter stare at him, surprised at the odd request, and he was about to be cheeky; so I backed up the knight's order with a firm look.
Reference & context: This is one of the rare moments when the silent Mr. Spectator acts, protecting his friend's dignity without a word.
In plain English: As we left the garden, my old friend, feeling it his duty as a magistrate to criticise the morals of the place, told the landlady at the bar that he would come more often if there were more nightingales and fewer prostitutes.
Why this phrase is worth keeping: A famous closing line: the innocent romantic and the stern magistrate in Sir Roger speak in one balanced sentence.
Reference & context: A “member of the quorum” was a senior justice of the peace, one whose presence was required for a court to sit.
Fun Fact
Vauxhall Gardens lasted until 1859. At their height they had lamp-lit avenues, orchestras, fireworks, tightrope walkers and balloon launches, and in 1749 a rehearsal of Handel's Music for the Royal Fireworks there drew 12,000 people and caused a three-hour traffic jam on London Bridge. The ham was famously sliced so thin you could read a newspaper through it.